The Adventures of Me & My Shadow #11 in NV 4/7/98
Hi Everyone!, Here is the last paragraph from the last letter about the Space Shuttle toilet. I never got a reply from the engineer so I got together with Gertrude and Gus and we have designed the ultimate zero gravity toilet. To keep the occupant from floating up off it at the wrong time we decided to have a negative air pressure applied under the seat as soon as the occupant was seated, this would be very essential in the event of a blast of gas from the occupant that could propel them up off the seat right in the middle of the procedure. It boggles the mind to think of what a mess this would make, they might even hit their head on (I can't call it the ceiling, in zero gravity the toilet might be on the ceiling). It would also offer assistance to those who might be a little constipated. This would also prevent the escape of any flammable obnoxious gasses. To move the waste products down into a lower chamber we have some bleed holes around the seat to allow some air to come in. This also allows the occupants to lift them selves up off the toilet when they are finished. A lid will then slide across to close the hole. In place of toilet paper we have a rotating brush (picture the car wash brush on a smaller scale) that will move out from under the rear part of the seat on demand, along with a spray of warm water. When the brush retracts, a blast of warm air will dry every thing. To protect the family jewels and the external plumbing, the travel of the brush will be limited for those so equipped, this will be detected by an electric eye. The lower camber would be a centrifuge thus the centrifugal force would be used in place of gravity to hold the material in the lower chamber. The lower chamber would contain a magnetron (microwave oven type) to evaporate the liquids and incinerate the solids. This would be turned off any time the toilet is in use to keep from cooking the occupant. The exhaust would pass through a condenser so that both the air and the liquids would be recycled. The solids being reduced to ashes would be returned to earth to be used as fertilizer, thus every thing is recycled. We are now waiting for funding before going into production.
Let me tell you about the long walk. It took place the day I checked into Silverton RV Park here in Las Vegas. I had a letter to mail and I had forgot to leave the keys to Elton's house and I had them in my pocket. I put them in a package, addressed it and put a stamp on it. It felt like it was too heavy to go with only one stamp so I asked the gal at the counter where I could find a post office. She pulled a simple map from under the counter and with a marker indicated where I was and where the post office was. It looked like it was just a few blocks away, go out the gate go to the right on Blue Diamond Rd to Las Vegas Blvd. then go left to Sunset Ave then go right to the post office. I thought I'll just run these letters over to the post office and see if it had enough postage on it. It was about 2:00 in the afternoon and a little walk would be good for me. It was further to Las Vegas Blvd. than I thought it should be and I should have turned around and gone back right then but it didn't seem to be very far to the signal lights up the Blvd. I kept going and found the signal lights were not Sunset Ave. I should have turned around then and gone back but there was another set of lights on up the Blvd. so I kept going, it was a nice day and I felt good. To make a long story short, the map I had didn't show all the streets and by the time I got to the Post Office it was 4:00 PM and there was a line of people waiting to get to a window. The gal in front of me was acting kind of ancy and complained about the line, said she came to the PO on her lunch break and had to get back to work. I asked her when she started her lunch break. When she said about ten minutes ago I felt better, I thought if she had been in line since lunch time I was in trouble. I asked her when the PO closed, she said 10:00 PM so I figured it wouldn't close before I got to a window. The line moved pretty fast and as I was leaving she was still at another window, I reminded her she better hurry so she could get back to work in time to check out and go home.
I wanted to rest, if I did, it would be dark before I would get back to the Park so I kept going but I was slowing down, when I turned in the gate the cars were going by with their lights on and it was about 6:30 PM. I came in and turned on the computer and asked Gus how far it was to the Post Office and he told me 5 miles. It tuned out that I had walked 10 miles to save 9 cents. I could have put another stamp on the package and dropped it in the mail box. That's less than a penny a mile, I didn't realize that I was so tight.
The second week I was here the RV's on either side of me left and some different ones showed up. The one on my left was an SOB (Some Other Brand) Every one that isn't a GMC is an SOB and this was a dirty SOB, the mini van it was towing was so dirty I couldn't tell what color it was. I could see salt on both vehicles so I knew the driver had had a bad day, I stayed out of his way, I knew he was wanting to get hooked up and get some rest.
The next day after I saw some activity over there, I went over and introduced my self and met a very nice old Dutch'man about my age, named Hank Knol and his wife Remmy. We got to talking about our WW2 adventures. I had been in the US Navy on an island in the south pacific and he had been in the Dutch Army in Indonesia. Indonesia was a Dutch possession and he was there after Germany had been defeated to send the Japanese home. After the war he and his wife emigrated to Canada and now live in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. He is now retired from a successful business and has a cabin on a lake about 60 miles southwest of Edmonton. He had been ice fishing on the lake and invited me up to try it. I told him it would be a cold day in hell to find me ice fishing any where, I am a hot weather person. He made it sound like an interesting pastime if you like cold weather. There was the fishing tale about the big one that got away because it was too big to come up through the hole in the ice. His best story was about the python snake his buddies caught in Indonesia. At the time they caught it he was on duty and his buddies were on some R&R at a beach. Now Marv, you better not read any further. (Marv is afraid of little garter snakes and salamanders). This snake was about 12 to 14 feet long and was starting down a rabbit hole when they saw it. They ran over and grabbed it's tail and started pulling (now an airplane is going over and I can't hear a word). He starts in again and says that after they get it out of the hole (another plane is going over) He starts in again, the snake coils around his buddy John (another plane is going over and I am wondering how long John will last) they have to cut the snakes head off to get it to relax so they can uncoil it (another plane is going over). They skinned the snake and had it made into ladies purses. Every one that was there got a purse, because Hank was on duty he didn't get a purse and his wife never believed the snake story till one day John shows up in Canada for a visit and verifies the story and his wife had a snake skin purse to prove it.
I was saddened yesterday when I read a message on E-mail from Marv telling me that my friend Hillary Hoesing, back in Nebraska had passed away. I had been looking forward to playing the numbers game with Hillary and the gang to see who would buy the coffee when I got back there in May. It always made his day when I got stuck for the coffee. My condolences go out to his wife Bonnie and his family. Hillary was about my age and I thought he was in pretty good shape so it makes me count my blessings. With my GMC motorhome to drive, Gertrude & Gus to keep me on the correct road and my defibrillator to kick me if I should falter I expect to make it well into the 21st century.
The GMCs are starting to roll in here at the park, I understand there will be over 300 of them for the convention starting on Sunday the 22nd and will run for a week. Then I'll head for Boise, ID to visit Dave, Meg & Erin before going to Petaluma, CA for the Western States GMC motorhome club convention on 13 April. I may try to locate an old WW2 buddy Pete Goyton in the San Francisco area while I am there. I visited him once about 40 years ago and talked to him on the phone a few years ago.
I still see snow at the higher elevations north and west of Las Vegas but the temperature here has been perfect, up in the 70s much of the time. I have been able to get some things done on my motorhome while here and the longest trip (8 miles each way) I made was into town to the Goodyear dealer to get new tires on the front.
Till next time, Dallas, or Dad if it fits.

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